C is for Connection

In the caregiving and grief worlds, CONNECTION is such a critical piece of your toolkit.

The experiences of caregiving and grief often lead to isolation. With caregiving, you're so completely focused on getting through the day-to-day that a week has gone by when you often realize it's been a few days or a week since you reached out to someone important. In grief, the self isolation comes in different forms. Usually it's when others think "shouldn't you be over this by now?". You're getting your footing still and the world feels like it's moved on.

Connection comes in different forms. When my person was hospitalized, texting was the number one thing that kept me going. That quick check in that didn't require immediate response was my lifeline. Group chats for updates to our loved ones important. My mind wasn't in a place to repeat myself over and over. The texting also let me take the lead on when I could actually dial the phone.

Another piece that I know is criticial for CONNECTION is support groups. I'm old enough where I think about a support group looking like they do on TV. Groups of people in a circle saying "Hi, my name is" and going into our stories. Now, social media groups also leverage that accessibilities. The hard part is to find one that works for you! I've recently joined a friend's group. Part learning, part healing. It's virtual and a weekly group. While those in her group aren't in the same place that I am, I logged off today thinking about the importance of such communities. It's something that I'm considering on creating down the line.

Why is CONNECTION so important? Sitting with my friend on a sunny, warm Friday afternoon having coffee on her deck, I realized it's that "I'm not alone" feeling. It's "ok to feel". It's validation. It's being seen. It's remembering to be seen.

The isolation of a caregiving journey allows for lots of negative self talk to infiltrate your mind. As I sat with my friend listening to her being amazing at her job as a small business owner, I sat in amazement of her smarts, drive, passion. I felt inadequate - unemployed, navigating changes I didn't plan for and emotional. I forget that I'm not... I'm just different. We have different paths, different goals and different focuses. While I didn't share my feelings of inadequacy, I did absolutely come out of the conversation knowing that I will get through this season.

It's okay to feel like you don't have someone to turn to. No one else has the experience you do - losing your loved one (they were someone else to them!) or falling into the caregiver role (everyone's circumstances are different). But, be brave enough to text that friend, family member or trusted advisor. Seek the professional help too. Sometimes you really just need that person to listen.

Challenge yourself to CONNECT with someone today!