INFORMATION: Equipping Yourself for the Road Ahead

The road ahead can be broken down into a few categories:

• Before anything happens

• During the Storm

• After the dust settles

I can speak from experience - "before anything happens" is usually something we all push down the road. The will, the financial planning, the things we just don't think could happen to us.

And then you find yourself IN the storm. You're kicking yourself for not prioritizing the items on the list while dealing with the care and needs of your person. That could be the illness, that could be legal hurddles. It's survival.

Then afterwards, do you go back to putting your head in the sand? Or do you really get your stuff together and promise that you won't ever go through those things again, while also vowing to push your loved ones to do the same so they don't find themselves in the same situation?

INFORMATION is key.

When my person was in the hospital, we didn't quite know what the road ahead was. We knew we had surgery, but not much else. Then we ended up in rehab waiting for surgery so my person could get PT and be strong for surgery. Meanwhile, I went into prep mode. What could I do to make my townhouse safe for someone who's already fallen twice.

For me, this was instinctual. I don't now why I had already known to just do this. I had surprised some of the therapists when they instructed us on some of the things we'd need at home. Half were already done and others were on order. Maybe it was the lessons we learned from the previous misfortunes of our loved ones who needed care prior to this.

Using the professionals caring for your person while in the hospital or rehab centers is a great way to gather some of the INFORMATION you need. Take a list of their recommendations. Do your research. For example, a sock buddy in a facility may be the preferred tool but they come in many different variations. Having a soft one versus a hard plastic is personal preference. Our opinion is that the hard plastic version is easier for the job. You will find things you like and things you don't. Heck, I was getting something at the pharmacy today and I caught myself eyeing the home health aid products.

Reflecting on our experience, INFORMATION was certainly such a key component of decision making. When the hospital wanted to transfer my person out, we had a particularly pushy person giving us information on open facilities. I had not yet arrived and my person had tons of questions, and the hospital rep wasn't clear with us. Add in my arrival, another call by the rep, a visit by our surgeon, another call from the rep... it became a very distressing situation. I became "Karen" (not a Karen) and pushed for INFORMATION from all parties taking care of my person. I did not back down until I had what we needed to be INFORMED to make the decision.

Now, in hindsight, I'm still not sure I had all the right information and that experience was not ideal. But none of this was. I can tell the story to myself that I should have done better, asked for even more and pushed off the decisions. But I can't change any of that and we're past it. I have lessons learned for next time.

While I'm in the caregiving stage and out of what I call the worst of the storm, my INFORMATION comes from the doctors, therapists and my own observations. Never take your own eyes for granted. As the one giving the care and observing and listening, you're taking in tons and tons of INFORMATION that your person may not even put together. You can connect the dots because you're watching.

I look at my person as my puzzle. I'm figuring out this whole thing. I don't know how the whole puzzle comes together, but I have two pieces that connect. Let's put them aside until we figure out the next piece.

And to circle back to the legal and financial items mentioned above. I am not an expert in these areas. But I implore you - please see someone who can advise you in these areas. In the midst of a crisis, the last thing you want is a legal matter to pop up requiring that extra effort and time.

From Chat GPT:

Power of Attorney (POA)

A Power of Attorney is a legal document that allows someone else (your "agent") to act on your behalf for financial, legal, or business matters.

A regular (non-durable) POA typically ends if:

• You become incapacitated (unable to make decisions for yourself).

• You revoke it.

• You pass away.

This means it is often used for temporary situations, such as:

• Managing finances while you're traveling.

• Signing documents during a real estate transaction.

• Handling a specific business matter.

Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA)

A Durable Power of Attorney remains in effect even if you become incapacitated.

This is the document most people need for long-term planning because it allows your chosen agent to:

• Pay bills

• Access bank accounts

• Manage investments

• Handle insurance claims

• Manage property

• Conduct other financial and legal affairs if you're unable to do so

Me again - So just on the basics, I wouldn't want a loved one to only be covered "temporarily". Do your homework - INFORM yourself. In this case, it's protection.