A Little Encouragement for Caregivers Today

"Ready? Ok!" Anyone else thinking about cheerleaders right now? Good. That's the direction I'm going in!

ENCOURAGEMENT is part of the caregiver journey. How could it not be? For your person receiving your care, it's to motivate them; it's to support them; it's to not let them give up on themselves.

ENCOURAGMENT for the caretaker is a little different. I hope you can get that from your person, but I recognize it may not be possible in the case of dementia or something similar. Here is when you may need external ENCOURAGEMENT - family, friends, professionals.

We all need that push to keep going. At work, you get feedback. Your manager will tell you that you did a great job on a project, presentation or handling a difficult situation. In our roles at home, you don't hear "You did a great job doing the dishes!" I'm positive my person would get a completely snarky and inappropriate-for-this-post response.

However, we have to think about the relationship we have with our person beyond this. Feeling sad the other day, I expressed my feelings to my person. I mentioned that I hadn't heard "you look nice" or any other type of personal compliment in awhile... quickly mentioned I wasn't fishing for one in the moment. It was an acknowledgment that I sometimes need that ENCOURAGEMENT that I'm still a great <insert relationship type>.

Just like a cheerleader on the sidelines of a football game, we're trying to ENCOURAGE our person. In this relationship, that's the basics - feeding, bathing, clothing, moving. And I know it's hard. Pain levels, emotions, frustrations... they all come out. We're the emotional cheerleader even behind our personal pain of watching our loved one struggle. We remember the long path here differently.

Prior to my person's surgery, we had a second trip to the ER. With pain levels off the charts, the doctors gave him some goooood meds. He was asleep and resting comfortably for the first time in two days. I was relieved for him until I realized I was sitting in a crappy chair in the ER hallway for hours. There was no place for me to stretch without being in someone's way. There was no one to call - they all would want info and there was literally none. It was a very long day advocating, worrying, and observing. Luckily we were admitted that night. I ended up in my BFF's kitchen the next morning. Coffee in one hand, ENCOURAGEMENT in the other.

If you've read my posted to now, you know I focus on something different with each post - conveniently capitalized for you. But really, they're all tied together. Connection, ENCOURAGEMENT, empowerment... it's all part of the Caregiver Circle of tools. Think of them as a pillar and your person is the "roof". Each pillar makes it a little easier to support your person so if one is a little weak today, you know the other 8 can bear the weight.

You don't have to be a perfect caregiver. We are all doing the very best we can. We're tapping into strengths we didn't know we had. We are taking on the role of two people - maybe more. We're navigating "the system" around us. There is no such thing as perfect. It can feel like you're on an island solo. But by leaning in, seeing what's in front of you, know this one thing - you've got this - even if it's only right now. That's a start!