GROWING Through What You Go Through

I cleared a clog in the sink yesterday. It's not a skill I'm proud to have added to my list. This is something my person would have handled and it would have been done with.

Instead, I ran to Home Depot, picked up a few tools and braced myself with a plumber on speed dial. "Please don't let me screw this up". Then dirty water splashed me from the backup drain. I wanted to cry. "WHY is this my life?".

A few minutes later, the water was running through and my task was complete.

When you say "I Do", these are the partnership items no one talks about. Who will unclog the drains, who will do the dishes, who will do the laundry, the grass, etc, etc, etc. And then caregiving enters your world and all those tasks fall on one person. Right now, that's me.

I can absolutely sit here and have a pity party. I have had them. How could I not? The last several months were not on my bingo card. At least not on the "under-50" card. I really pictured me with a fruity drink with a cute little paper umbrella in hand while on vacation. I'll get there one day.

But here is where GROWTH comes from. Looking at my journey, I have held this house together. I've held my people together. I've held me together. I can see progress. I was speaking with a loved one the other day. I can genuniely see progress that my person has taken up to now. To see the immediately post-op person to now, I actually forgot that my person needed assistance out of the car the other day. I fell back into "normal" for a brief moment. It was glorious and brief.

While creating a post on LinkedIn, I recognized the GROWTH in this caregiving journey while having a gap in employment. The skills we master... we become experts in advocacy, problem-solving and navigating complex systems. And that's generalizing.

When everything feels like it's focused on your person, I think it's important take the time to acknowledge that you have changed. Your GROWTH comes from this journey too. Maybe asking for help was something you loathed... and maybe still do. But if you're able to ask and take a load off your busy schedule - that's success!

GROWTH doesn't always have to be a skill. Maybe it's a new way of doing something that takes you less time. Sometimes that prep work that takes 10 minutes now will save you a few minutes each day. GROWTH comes when you realize you've eased into a routine or you can add things to your day that were unthinkable last season.

If you're able to, find something you'd like to take on and learn. I recognize that not everyone has hours in the day to take on one.more.thing. My daughter, who's living out of state, realized that a 20 minute exercise program on her app makes a huge difference in her day. She's not a caregiver, but trying something new where you have capacity makes a mental difference. Find a book, an influencer on the socials... it doesn't have to be major. It doesn't have to be long. Find joy. Do one thing that makes you happy each day. That's GROWTH. Mental health is just as important on this journey.

You've got this!