REFLECTING on Your Caregiver Journey: Looking Back, Moving Forward

Ok. I'll say it. Time is a thief. Each second ticks by. You've already spent at least 5 seconds reading the last few words. Words that took me a good minute to put down on this digital page.

In the throws of caregiving, each second ticks by while you're stressed, sad, mad, fearful... joyful, happy, celebrating.... exhausted. I know I shared in a previous post that caregiving is much like raising kids. The days are long but the years are short. But that also leaves time for REFLECTION.

My person and I are very eager to have this stage to be past us. If I'm honest with myself, we're over this. We're impatient and want everything to go back to normal, whatever that means. Yet, the REFLECTION of how far we've come together is so important. It's like fuel to keep us motivated.

While waiting for our PT to arrive yesterday, my person was feeling stiff and sore. After a few moments, we realized it was because our usual therapist didn't visit last week and different exercises were worked on. I opened the door yesterday with excitement - "we missed you!". Diamond arrived, did what's been working and today, my person is a little sore, but know progress was made.

REFLECTION. It's hard as a caregiver to continually repeat myself... "remember when you..." Am I trying to convince my person or me?

In my quiet moments, I think back to the days after surgery. I was feeding my person. My person couldn't stand without lots of assistance. A huge neck collar supported my person and there was the post-surgery swelling. We saw changes and progress daily. Today, it's not always as obvious because we're 4+ months in on this journey of healing.

REFLECTING is also observing. Noticing the slight shifts and changes. Today my person was more steady on their feet. Last week, not so much or even yesterday. It's noticing the changes that may not be as obvious to your person.

It's acknowleding the feelings. Only now am I processing the fear, the sadness, the disappointment of changed plans - current and future. We had to change our holiday plans. We had to change our future plans. We have to reconsider what travel will look like. Planning as if today's functionality is "it" while knowing so much more progress is coming in our case. It's trying to not get ahead of ourselves while living.

Recognizing that REFLECTION is also foward thinking too. It's hopeful. We, as caregivers, have seen what worked and what didn't. It helps us plan for upcoming things - basic needs or things that can really excite us.

Let's face it, there isn't a lot of excitement in a caregiver's journey. I think many people fall into the day-to-day chores, too exhausted to see beyond the day, the appointments, the schedule. But as we move from caregiver season to caregiver season, glimpses of our "past life" pop up and we adapt. We become able to think forward. I've learned that it doesn't happen overnight. I don't know exactly when forward thinking was possible in my journey, but it's at least possible.

REFLECT. Appreciate. Celebrate what you've accomplished - survival (yours and your person!).