ADVOCACY: Putting the Pieces Together

If I'm honest, and you know I am, I've been rewriting this post for a few days. What started about one facit of ADVOCACY turned into another and another. It just didn't have the right feel. Then, in the car yesterday, it all became clear!

ADVOCACY is about putting the puzzle of your person together. You sit in a doctor's office with them. You listen to the expert and figure out how to relate it to your situation. The doctor, or other professionals, give you the pieces and you're putting your puzzle together.

Some puzzles when ADVOCATING are easy - think a kiddie puzzle with ten pieces. Others are those 1,000 piece puzzles when half the puzzle is the same color and you just sit back and question why you opened the box in the first place.

ADVOCATING is more than sitting and listening. If you're a caregiver reading this, you absolutely know this. Caregiving is seeing what that completed puzzle will be. But in the meantime, you're sorting through and grouping the pieces together that make the most sense to go together.

In our Winter Season of caregiving, I remember being in the hospital gathering the information I could. Notebook in hand, I was writing everything down. Those were my puzzle pieces. ADVOCATING was making sure questions were answered, my person's wellbeing was prioritized and we were getting answers.

Having the experience of hospitalizations with other loved ones, I recognized when I wasn't being heard. ADVOCATING meant bringing in others who knew the process of hospital administration and could listen and explain to all parties. That is the Patient ADVOCATE. Knowing there are people in facilities that are there as a resource is the secret sauce of ADVOCACY.

As an ADVOCATE, you're not meant to be an expert in everything - although I'm sure all caregivers try. In the beginning, you're absolutely not. Oftentimes, you're thrown into this situation and you're playing catch up. You have to build the knowledge as you go - it's how we all learn! Do you become an expert on your person - Yes, yes and ... yes!

To me, ADVOCATING means taking the information from the experts and relating them to the situation. My own physician said to me once "there's a reason we call it a practice" .... as in they're practicing on us! No two people are completely identical. They, the human doctors, are working off of patterns. I saw my doc a few weeks ago with a minor issue and heard "I've never had anyone present like this". I was proud to be a first and walk out with a prescription that did the trick.

In my professional world, I've said "I don't mind being the dumb person in the room". I'm not dumb. I know this. But I'm also "brave" enough to ask the obvious questions. My philosophy is if I have a question, I'm probably not the only one. So take that same approach, especially if you're in with a doctor and don't have a matching medical degree. Ask the PT/OT about what specific exercises are meant to do. Ask for specifics or for them to explain it differently. As a "gate keeper" to your person, this is all ADVOCATING. You don't want to go to google afterwards to figure it out. Ask the experts.

ADVOCATING is just one layer of the Caregiving Circle. It's empowering you to put you in the driver's seat. This is a hard journey, but it doesn't have to be when you have the answers in your hand!