CONNECTION and the Check-In I didn't know I needed

While in the job market, I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. It's my least favorite social media platform because I look for the human connections - I want to see how you're doing, what your family is up to. I don't just want your work persona. Coupled with the volume of people "open to work", it's a mixing pot of skills versus skills. It has lots of value, but it can be depressing when you're on "this side" of the job hunt.

Yeah, I know... how is this related to caregiving? Well... in my long winded way, I stumbled on something. A poster shared a list of things he knew sooner.

#17 - Reach out to people just because they crossed your mind.

It was brilliant. CONNECTION is what keeps the caregiver and their person from feeling isolated. At our doctor's appointment, we spoke about my person going back to work in person. We have some fears, but they're mostly because of the journey we've been on. Doc told us that it's great for recovery! When the doctor listed the reasons, the social and emotional sides came up. CONNECTION is great for recovery! Ha! I knew I wasn't crazy!

Then, this morning, my BFF and I were dropping off our kids at school at the same time. We ended up at a stop light side by side. Windows rolled down, we had a two minute conversation that left me with the hugest smile. It wasn't the topic (although it was certainly a good one) but it was the human CONNECTION.

Even when we're outside of the caregiving circle, humans just need to be with one another. Yes, there are times where we can feel so completely alone in the middle of people - but that's because we feel unseen. I'll use my job search as an example. As of this morning, I've applied to 75 positions. I've had zero interest. Yes, you read that right. Zero. And I know my value. I know what I bring to the table. I know I will work my butt off. It doesn't matter what I'm juggling. I get it done. It's not a brag (humble or not), it's fact. But the lack of response will cause me to question myself. Am I as good as I think I am? Caregiving is the same way.

When it's just you, the caregiver, and your person, do you have people outside of the two of you that can support you? At work, you get praise. "That presentation was awesome!", "Great job on that project!" At home, does your person say "you look nice today", for example? Mine forgets. It's not intentional, it's just not always the focus. We as humans need feedback. It's how we get out of our own heads.

Early on, when I had no idea what I needed, everyone would ask, "let me know what you need!" I very openly and honestly said, keep checking in! The text check-ins were exactly what I needed. Especially when it took me out of the moments I was in. A text with my friend's name always gave me a smile. It didn't matter what the message said. In those moments, I new the CONNECTIONS I had mattered mutually to both people.

#17 - Reach out to people just because they crossed your mind.

I know I don't do this nearly enough.... but I will. So many people cross my mind regularly!